Wednesday, August 4, 2010

This past weekend, my girlfriend and I had a lazy weekend. We laid around for the majority of it. Playing games, eating Chinese food and just wallowing in our love for each other. Late Monday afternoon, we peeled ourselves off the floor, which doubles as my couch, and made a run for some movies. I chose Doubt and she chose Julie and Julia. Surprisingly, Julie and Julia was inspiring but not just because I had attempted to cook a three course dinner the night before, but because the star, Julie, seemed just as hopeless as me when she started her blog. It was obvious that she started it because she needed something. Something to hold on to, something to believe in. something to do. There is a sick monotony that life takes on sometimes. Wake up, go to work, come home, eat, and go to sleep. It sucks. But for many of us, it’s a necessary evil. We have to do it. And sometimes, even for a novice metaphysicist finding the silver lining in that cloud is hard to do. We just kind of submit that this will be our lives. We will be unhappy but the check and the societal acceptance is somehow worth it. Because there is nothing worse, in the eyes of society, than being unemployed. Well except, being single but that’s a different conversation. I recognized myself in her and realized that I needed something too. something besides my perfect loving girlfriend who is supportive and lovely. I know the dangers of being too dependent on my relationship to validate me. That is surely a recipe for disaster. I pictured the dark abyss of my situational depression sucking the warmth and rays out of her sunshine. Nope. Couldn’t risk it. So I turned to this. Blogging.

People that know me already know that I am writing a book about thinking errors and how to use the principles of universal law to transmute them. For all intents and purposes it’s a semi spiritual text. A guidebook. It’s going to be awesome. Its partner on the other hand, has a different purpose, almost purely cathartic. A means for me to release what I have held captive on my tongue for fear of intimidating or offending others and alienating or exposing myself. But more often than not, I’m constipated with what I’m keeping. I created this blog to illuminate the principles of S P A C E. the free myself from the grips of my silence.

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