Sunday night at Queen Sheba's Album Release, she and her band performed this song. I choked back the tears as I listened to the lyrics. I felt them to my core. The second verse in particular:
"Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope its going to make you notice,
I hope its going to make you notice
someone like me."
The words struck me so hard because I felt like these words were the soundtrack of my life right now. For the past two days, I have not slept more than 3 hours a night. I am up late, furiously typing, trying to record all the the words, thoughts and emotions that have been building in me for the past 28 years. My writing has become more than it outlet, it has become a form of prayer!
For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I was different. Always" in my head" and highly sensitive. Friends and lovers called me, "intense." And I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable about who I was. I judged my sensitivity as being overly emotional and I mistook the intensity for depression. I settled into a life of disappointment and rejection. Feeling like I would never truly belong anywhere.
That was until two years ago, when I stumbled across a documentary called, "You can Heal Your Life". The movie, documented the life of Dr. Louise Hay, a metaphysical healer and the the founder of Hay House Publishing. For the first time, I felt connected to something. The movie detailed how she used principles of love, peace, harmony, and purpose to heal herself from cancer. She taught that in order in to heal yourself, you first had to accept yourself, and then work to help/ heal others. I wondered if I could be healed as well. To find some "higher" purpose. That higher purpose came by way of my writing. It was the only thing that I loved without judgement, I sought out to create a modern interpretation of what I was learning. I got s p a c e tattooed on my arm, and only 3 months after seeing the movie, I started writing what has now become my first book. Since then, it has also been my dream to publish with Hay House. Not just because, Hay House is the premier publishing company for authors who write for, "the common good," but because Hay House saved, someone like me!
In January of 2011, Hay House is hosting a writers retreat/cruise. I want more than anything to be on this cruise. For two years, I have worked and prayed for any opportunity like this to present itself and now that it has, I want to take full advantage of it. I believe that attending this cruise is the break that I have been waiting for. The only issue is money. I lost my job this past June, and the cruise is $1,000! I am asking that my friends and loved ones, help me to go on this cruise. They are offering a book contract and a $10,000 advance to one of the participants. I have faith, that I will be that participant. In the spirit of faith, I am humbly entreating you to donate anything that you have to help me to go. Please.
The DONATE button is the right of this blog. Thanks in advance.
For those who are uncomfortabl donating online, you can email me at kjackso2@yahoo.com or spaceandsilence@gmail.com and I will send you my mailing address.
The link to site is is here: http://www.lifejourneys.net/HayHouse/Charter2011/Program3_Writers/index.html
